Now Plaistow has done this far more justice than I. He was there for starters. But he also nailed the build up. The atmosphere, quirks of the boozer, charity funding, opinions of the side etc. I've been there too and and it's a tough gig sometimes, accepting strange fans opions noons about our beloveds, but hey, shit happens.
Where did I watch it?
Ahem.
With my 7&5 year old.
Jesus what have I created?
The other half was out pre planned family stuff. What was I to do? Weather was foul, homework was done, it seemed innocent enough to set them up with their drawing paraphanelia as I found www.hammerstv.com.
It's not all swings and biscuits. I had to fetch the sick bucket as "Keys and Gray" appeared on some bizzare forum.
Seriously, looking back (hindsight is interesting) but they are major c*nt gravy of the highest order. Their pomposity is beyond belief.
I digress.
I would say the whistle went, but for West Ham it didn't.
Now here's where you don't like me.
We were fucking shit for 77 minutes.
Slow, boring, predictable, and here's the crux, lucky to have 11 men!!
Why? Well we started like we normally do....comatose.
I don't get it? Our passing is sluggish, tempo non existent...why?
I know we have to earn the right, but laying down and sucking Lukakus cock will not help(what we basically did)
I almost switched my laptop off at HT but for my eldest who said "we've got Payet Dad" (he's always been my favourite)
And so the second half.
Andy lumbers on. I'm not thrilled.
Neither is he team.
2-0
Fuck them it's going off "no Dad you always say it's not over till the fat lady sings" (eldest) I've bred an intelligent git......
Ref decides to count his pubes as another cheating fuckwit blue nose dives, "penalty!"
I'm now in the kitchen and pacing the table wondering how many times well be torn open in the shitty north west.
5 year old chirps up "Dad, Adrian is brilliant at penalties! He'll save it!"
I barely acknowledged until they both shouted "yes!"
I ran in
He'd only saved it.....
My boys were jumping and shouting Adrian's name....and it was that moment ladies and gentlemen, that I remembered why.....
It matters not about the result, game, outcome...
It's those moments. Those times.
Like a camera flash.
For them it snapped it, and they adore Adrian (not least because he is a star and embraces the fans)
I'm not going to mention those last 3 goals. I'm not good enough to capture my boys celebrations.
Suffice to say we kissed, cuddled and bundled to the extent I've done something to my back that's not good, but I'll take it, and the pain.
We shouted, screamed, caused mayhem and delirium.
After calming down we had pizza, ice cream and fell asleep before match of the day on the sofa.
A tangled mass of West Ham shirts.
My boys now lead me.
Together. Always.
Beautiful.
COYI.

Goal of the Month for February ... vote Mark Noble v Norwich on BBC Sport Website , voting closes just after 11pm tonight (UK time) cheers guys.

Sneaking upstairs logging on and staring endlessly at the BBC Sports Football page and the premiere league table....Oh Happy Days.

Well with 50+ others we set off from Glasgow.... yes indeed The Glasgow Hammers along with some of my very own Anglo-Scottish crew were on our merry way to a stadium where we have had little joy over the years, we were off to face Everton (our genuine bogey team). We arrived about 1pm and my mate Ian and I made our way around to the Wilmslow Hotel (nearest pub to the ground) in order to partake in a thirst quenching liquid refreshment after our long journey. As we enjoyed our beverage we chatted to some of the local fans while watching \Tottenham drop yet more points (this time to ten man Arsenal) it became apparent to us that Everton fans don't like Spuds much either but had a soft spot for us! The locals were not overly confident which surprised us as we don't have a good record against them in recent years. Ian and I both purchased and Everton badge (£2) as it was for Muscular Dystrophy and I duly attached it to my Claret and Blue Bar Scarf. Well after being refreshed with 20 mins to go before kick off we made our way to the Bullens away section and took our places.
The game was not so much a slow starter and most play taking place in the middle of the pitch , young Reece Oxford looking assured until Lukaku managed to use all his guile and indeed strength to get goal side of the young star and finished in a way few others could. Everton on the up saw Mirrales booked for a dive with Anthony Taylor in a good viewing position (10/10 for Taylor here as this sort of thing must be cut out) as time progressed Mirrales made a lunge on Cresswell and he had to go, Noble making his views clear and McCarthy trying to be the big shot. There after Noble was constantly booed by the Everton fans to our left and good on our skipper who rose above it , we all know a good leader looks after and out for his troops. The half ended and we were lucky to only be a goal down as Adrian had made a couple of super stops to keep us in it. The second half and it was the Toffees who were quickest out the blocks (the Irons a defender short as Slav put on Carroll which to us showed attacking intent). Sadly our defence (what was left of it) switched off and Lennon was able to make it 2-0, we really did think it was going to be one of those days as our rival fans chanted "We've only got ten men"! Next up enter Sakho and Song into the fray but it was not long before Everton were awarded a penalty that (although was a free outside the box) should have sealed our fate and the usually reliable Lukaku had his kick saved. Upbeat and louder than ever the magnificent fans got even more behind the Irons and with less than thirteen minutes to go first Antonio, then Sakho and of course it had to Payet and the game was within our grasp .. I have not seen our fans this elated for a long time Noble and Kouyate played their parts and when the whistle went it was clear the mutual adulation between fans and players was in full swing. The journey home was loud and proud, so many talking points and another monkey off our backs. What pleased me most we were two down and and Slav threw caution to the wind and went for it, it could have gone wrong but didn't and it was a brave decision, having got a goal back we felt we could get another and when we did we all believed we could get a winner and we did. Probably our last away trip (due to logistics) this season and if it is to be then what a way to end our tour. COYI's!

that's how long its been since we came back from 2-0 down in the premier league to win the fact our team now does not give up until the final whistle is something we have been waiting on not in a generation but a lifetime....make no doubt about it this result will make everyone we play now till the end of the season very wary of our ability to recover.....how many times before would we of gone on to be well and truly stuffed from 2 goals down to many to remember to be honest...and lets face it how many of us just sighed kicked the cat said a few expletives when the mickey mousers went 2 up something along the lines of ffs against 10 effing men jeeezus this bloody hoodoo when will it end then the penalty that was not lukaku our nemesis stepped up and Adrian saved yes I say saved not missed but saved suddenly a little come on west ham just get one back we can still do this though not with to much conviction and then it happened 2-1 2-2 unbelievable then 2-3 dreamland what a week bfs beat spuds beat now the hoodoo beaten what a team no make that squad we have now I cannot like many believe how this seasons turning out we started hoping for mid table security maybe a cup run and some decent football that would be refreshing but look what we have got it is truly a dream and long may it continue...thanks to the chairmen for eventually getting bilic thanks for bilic for coming thanks for the scouts and the backing to get the players and thanks indeed for bilic once again for moulding a squad and instilling a belief in a west ham team we have never seen before and I include the 86 team in that.. long may it continue COYI

Its on again ,the whole match 8 oclock ,what a treat ,put a brew on luv

Sorry guys but Slav may have been involved with us winning 9 points in the last 3 games but the real credit MUST go to me for these three points! I'm taking 100 per cent credit for this. I predicted a loss and at 2-0 down once again I retired to the bath in a huff, heard quietly in the background from the tele we had won. So asked the other half to find out only for to say we had lost 3-2! If that isnt proof I should get the credit what is? Remember the last time we were two down I did that and we got a draw at Norwich. If I wasn't such a dirty bar steward in the first place we would never make a come back guffaw.

P.s big Mick is gona get you

While 2 or 3 of our players were giving their shirts to the fans Emenike took off his shorts and lobbed them in ,i swear to god ,top 4 not so unrealistic now and could it have been any sweater than coming from 2 down to beat this shower of thugs
Please some one slap me in the face so i can wake up from this dream ,I'll be late for work

With the irons facing a prolonged spell in London in the coming weeks in the PL. Against, Chelsea, Palace, The Arse and I suppose you could count Watford as it's only a stones throw away. I was thinking about how the game is progressing. With the massive amount of foreign players in these games. Does the London Derby mean as much to them as it used to. I expect, when Nobes talks to his team about a derby match I wonder how many of them say "explain what is derby"? I think the days are long gone now for players being extra charged up for days like these. The fans will always be up for the derby games, and often talk about them weeks in advance, there's no denying it's a special intense atmosphere for those fans concerned. But apart from the scattering of English players involved, how much extra is the sense of occasion for the players I wonder??

Q1 which player scored his last goal for West Ham in a 4-1 defeat by Leeds that led to a full scale fight with billy bonds about his lack of effort during the game?

Q2. What did Stuart slater do when he built his first house to celebrate him playing for the happy hammers?

Q3. Which hammer was sentenced to 8 years for his "work in the community" ?

Q4. What was the score in our first tie in the Anglo Italian cup?

Q5 name the player

A) Basil, you will always find him p1ssing on the bar at parties!
B) old big head thinks he is a quart
C) a West Ham player with the same name as a TV presenter that had a very personal "friendship" with Pamela Anderson