So the holiday so graciously offered to us by the banks (not that they provide much else) nudges up against us like a friendly old cat.
Talking of friendly old cats, I’ve been trying to work out SSB’s hairstyle of late. He seems to be clinging on to that thatch like a man possessed. He’s trying all sorts with it. Pretending he doesn’t care and even growing some stubble, but then coiffuring it into a gentle mound to try to plug the gaps of scalp, to fall into line with that blue suit. Don’t get me started on the tie. Either fasted the top button or don’t wear one. Anything else carries an air of 1970’s Detective Sergeant, stressed out over an ash tray filled desk. SSB is better than that.
So what of the big changes for the summer? I’m not sure what hair style he’ll go for to be honest. With another child on the way it’ll probably start to fall out faster than ever, so a number one may be the most sensible option. If he goes bald head will he go full beard? It’s like a game of Guess Who? And it’s my biggest concern moving toward the off season.
Appearance is key. Gone are the days of shell suits and high blood pressure.
Managers these days have a duty to portray everything about their club. The better looking and smarter the manager, the better performing the team.
Don’t believe me? Look at the table.
Sitting at the top is THE style icon. The working man’s George Clooney. Claudio’s skin is smoother than an Essex girls twat and full lips could be hired out as a bouncy castle.
Pinocchio even takes to a full length mac and tailored scarf, whilst experimenting with stubble to hid his fat face.
Pep Gonorrhoea will come into the reckoning, and even the elderly lesbian at Arsenal washes his hair regularly and wears a suit.
So let’s stop worrying about players coming and going, transfer targets and replacements, squad depth blah blah, new stadium blah blah Boleyn farewell Zzzzz (bored to tears with that now, like bleedin Sinatra, just bulldoze the tip and be done). What matters is how SSB lines up in August. He has a duty to us all to consider this very carefully.
I for one, am watching.